Ephesians 5:33b: And the wife should respect her husband.
Respect is his primary need, his deepest desire.

I Put My Followers First

Monday, October 04, 2010

What Color Is Your Mad?

The Respect Dare Not sure why, but husbands aren't like our sisters, mothers or girlfriends, no matter how much we want him to be! Want something? ASK. . . . Simple. Direct...to the point. It's respectful.
 (Nina Roesner)
I found myself in a situation this weekend when that Facebook post flashed through my head.  And then this video of Nina, made for The Respect Dare e-course, came to mind.  There was something she said in that video that described exactly how I was behaving.

I know that Nina's situation in the video and my situation were not even remotely the same.  My husband said something that hurt.  I got offended.  I got mad.  My head started running that vicious little tape of "you-know-he-was-out-to-get-you-pushing-buttons-and-setting-you-off-on-purpose . . . ."

WHAT?  My temper made me forget.  What was it he said anyway?  I couldn't even remember what he'd said that set me off.

Uuughgh - I hate female hormones.

No, it wasn't Nina's lesson about "to ask is to be respectful".  It was that "fifteen-shades-of-purple-mad" phrase in Nina's video that I first recalled.  THEN I remembered the whole ask thing.

The next time I assume I know what motivated what I think I heard; And before I completely ignore that he loves me and has no intention of hurting me; AND before I go get fifteen-shades-of-purple-mad at him, I'll ask him to rephrase what I obviously misunderstood.

I'll be asking . . . . Simple. Direct...to the point. It's respectful.

Purple-mad is not a good look for me.

Guess you're all wondering how it worked out, for my husband and me?

Well - as you know I am a big fan of The Respect Dare page on Facebook.

First I told my husband how sorry I was.  Then I "took the dare" from last Thursday.

The Respect Dare When is the last time you initiated intimacy? Dare you today to pursue your husband in a special, and perhaps memorable way! :) Being desired does something to a man that few other things do. We frequently hear of the benefits (usually domestic support and random acts of kindness bestowed) from women who make a practice of regularly pursuing their hubs!

Thursday at 6:46am 

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Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Purple is usually a good color for me, ;) but not if it's because I'm mad. Such a good reminder today of the value of being respectful instead of angry. If I just stop and think FIRST, I avoid a lot of disrespectful words.

Thanks for sharing this on Marriage Mondays today!

Ellen Marie "Mama" Pike said...

How sweet that you got over being mad and "pursued" your husband.

Warren Baldwin said...

Thanks for the comment and discussion on my blog about a husband encouraging his wife. You added valuable thoughts.

Your post here is good. I think one of the major ingredients to a successful marriage is forgiveness! Without it we hold onto stuff too long and resentment builds. Good thoughts here.

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Can I get an Amen?