Ephesians 5:33b: And the wife should respect her husband.
Respect is his primary need, his deepest desire.

I Put My Followers First

Thursday, July 01, 2010

So You Didn't Marry Prince Charming

Word to the Wives ~ ~ If the reality of marriage does not match your fantasy, realize that you have the power to change it. Inviting your husband to share shoulder-to-shoulder time with you will do wonders.

I heard that one wife wept when she read the inside of the Prince Charming card at my Zazzle Store.  I didn't have to ask if she was weeping for joy or weeping for grief.   Actually, I did not want to ask.  I do hope that if it was the latter, that she bought the card for her husband.  

Many women truly feel robbed of the fairy tale "happily ever after" in their marriage.  Many would rather continue to have less than what they expected, settling for what they think is the best they can get, or worse - struggling to change their husband rather than changing themselves.   Marriage was not instituted to be a punishment.  

I don't know about your husband but mine never will change because I nag him.  He won't improve if I complain or whine or tell my friends of our last argument.  

When I behave like that it contaminates the shared air between us.  (That is not a scientific fact.  It is simply a theory I'm striving to prove.)    

Night before last my husband irritated the heck out of me.   I had thought about it all day. I could either let go of my irritation or I could hold onto it.  If I held onto it, the air in our home would be thick with stress.   It would probably be intolerable.  I was the keeper of the barometric pressure in our home.  

It is a powerful position to be in.  With a me-me-me attitude, I could drag this little argument into a full-fledged hurricane if I wanted to.  I've been known to do that.  No, really.  But this time, I chose to take control of the "weather" in our home.

I had married this man "for better or for worse", so he wasn't going anywhere.  He would come home and probably be exactly the same man I'd married.  He surely wasn't perfect then and he surely wasn't perfect now.  According to everything that I know, he will never be perfect in my lifetime.  

But, I truly was not in the mood for another stormy evening.  It was up to me to chase the clouds of irritation from our home.  Remember, it was me irritated with him - not the other way around.  Knowing him, he would fall all over himself trying to make me happy which would only serve to irritate me more.

So, after spending an afternoon fixing a meal that would not overtax me, that would please my tastes and be satisfactory to him, we ate in relative silence.  I disappeared to the computer room and called him to come sit near me.  I read my blog post from Monday to him.   I then spent a little portion of the evening telling that same husband what an honor it is to be his wife.  It was the truth.  I wasn't making a bit of it up.  

I had spent some of the afternoon, as I prepared our meal and he was at work, remembering the fairy tale romance that was ours.  The silly little things that we did for one another to give each other joy.  After dinner I then sat at his feet as I had every evening in the early weeks of our dating and called many of those things to his remembrance.  

It was a conscious choice on my part to replace the thoughts of irritation with the thoughts that delight me about my husband.   

Fairy tales can come true.  It can happen to you -  if you take your thoughts captive and establish the course of your thinking.

By the way; if you haven't clicked on the Prince Charming card and read the sentiment inside, I think you might want to do that.  I expect that some of us will cry.  And some of us will find a way to tell our husband that he is still our Prince Charming.  

4th of July Weekend Sale  -  17.76% OFF ALL ORDERS!!   
Use Code: ZAZZLEUSAUSA     Ends Monday


JMN said...

HI there.

Thanks for coming and visiting my blog!

I look forward to seeing your posts!

I love the Christian based cards - beautiful!

If you ever want a review / giveaway done on your product, just let me know!

Thanks again!


Manzanita said...

Nice blog and great wisdom. You are soooo right. If you want to be treated like a princess you have to treat "him" like a prince. Thanks for being my friend.

Take It From Me Girls said...

Hi Sharon!

Such a lovely blog! Just wanted to say THANK YOU for participating in this week's WELCOME WEDNESDAY! We hope to see you back weekly! We are very happy to follow your blog! Thanks for helping spread the word about our event by grabbing our button!

Kristin & Jaime
Take It From Me

pat said...

Oh dear! Another favorite!

There's just something very special about this one.

Teresa said...

Wonderful post! Coming from someone single, you are lucky that you can change the weather in your home!

Would love to have you in our blog directory!

Society of Socialpreneurs

Teresa said...

I just sat and read through some of your blog post, do you sell these cards? If so, I would like to tell you that we also have a free business directory and I would be honored to share your business on our site.

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

If more women thought like you do, divorce rates would fall thru the floor. I love your prince charming card. Rosemary

very married said...

good advice! we're still in the honeymoon-y stage but i'll have to come back when my prince isn't looking so charming anymore...

pat said...

To "Very Married"

May I suggest that telling your husband he is your Price Charming as frequently as you can find ways to do so is how you ensure that he will remain YOUR Prince!

LoriAnn said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your blog. Thank you for encouraging us to honor our husbands as well as for admitting the times that you don't "feel like it"!

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Can I get an Amen?