So You Didn't Marry Prince Charming

Word to the Wives ~ ~ If the reality of marriage does not match your fantasy, realize that you have the power to change it. Inviting your husband to share shoulder-to-shoulder time with you will do wonders.

I heard that one wife wept when she read the inside of the Prince Charming card at my Zazzle Store.  I didn't have to ask if she was weeping for joy or weeping for grief.   Actually, I did not want to ask.  I do hope that if it was the latter, that she bought the card for her husband.  

Many women truly feel robbed of the fairy tale "happily ever after" in their marriage.  Many would rather continue to have less than what they expected, settling for what they think is the best they can get, or worse - struggling to change their husband rather than changing themselves.   Marriage was not instituted to be a punishment.  


I don't know about your husband but mine never will change because I nag him.  He won't improve if I complain or whine or tell my friends of our last argument.  


When I behave like that it contaminates the shared air between us.  (That is not a scientific fact.  It is simply a theory I'm striving to prove.)    


Night before last my husband irritated the heck out of me.   I had thought about it all day. I could either let go of my irritation or I could hold onto it.  If I held onto it, the air in our home would be thick with stress.   It would probably be intolerable.  I was the keeper of the barometric pressure in our home.  


It is a powerful position to be in.  With a me-me-me attitude, I could drag this little argument into a full-fledged hurricane if I wanted to.  I've been known to do that.  No, really.  But this time, I chose to take control of the "weather" in our home.


I had married this man "for better or for worse", so he wasn't going anywhere.  He would come home and probably be exactly the same man I'd married.  He surely wasn't perfect then and he surely wasn't perfect now.  According to everything that I know, he will never be perfect in my lifetime.  


But, I truly was not in the mood for another stormy evening.  It was up to me to chase the clouds of irritation from our home.  Remember, it was me irritated with him - not the other way around.  Knowing him, he would fall all over himself trying to make me happy which would only serve to irritate me more.


So, after spending an afternoon fixing a meal that would not overtax me, that would please my tastes and be satisfactory to him, we ate in relative silence.  I disappeared to the computer room and called him to come sit near me.  I read my blog post from Monday to him.   I then spent a little portion of the evening telling that same husband what an honor it is to be his wife.  It was the truth.  I wasn't making a bit of it up.  


I had spent some of the afternoon, as I prepared our meal and he was at work, remembering the fairy tale romance that was ours.  The silly little things that we did for one another to give each other joy.  After dinner I then sat at his feet as I had every evening in the early weeks of our dating and called many of those things to his remembrance.  


It was a conscious choice on my part to replace the thoughts of irritation with the thoughts that delight me about my husband.   


Fairy tales can come true.  It can happen to you -  if you take your thoughts captive and establish the course of your thinking.


By the way; if you haven't clicked on the Prince Charming card and read the sentiment inside, I think you might want to do that.  I expect that some of us will cry.  And some of us will find a way to tell our husband that he is still our Prince Charming.  




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