Ephesians 5:33b: And the wife should respect her husband.
Respect is his primary need, his deepest desire.

I Put My Followers First

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

But, What About Him?

Dear Reader -

You are not the first nor will you be the last to ask "what about the husband doing his part in the marriage".

I feel called and comfortable teaching wives what I have learned. I do NOT have that same sense of peace addressing the husbands and their responsibilities.

I can pray - and I suggest you join me - for your husband to listen to the promptings of God.  This is why I made the card that tells the husband his wife is praying for him.  She is not saying "My prayers are working!"  She is saying "I pray for you" without laying a guilt trip on him.

I recall the scripture where Peter addresses the wife, telling her how God expects her to behave when her husband does not or will not obey the word of God concerning him.

1 Peter 3: 1-2

(1) Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (2) While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
"Our husbands need to observe our chaste conversation coupled with fear. What is God talking about here? Chaste means pure ... pure conversation ... I'm thinking sweet, clean, holy and uplifting conversation, aren't you? But not just that alone ... God says "coupled with fear" ... what do you think He means here? God is saying that your husband should hear pure conversation from your mouth to the point where he actually can tell that you fear God (respect Him, reverence Him, obey Him). Do you think your husband thinks that you fear God when you're snapping at him? I don't think so." (Kate Plourde)
Embrace the teachings of this passage and trust in God with all your might, mind, and strength. He is true to His promises.

It is in support of Peter's exhortation (for wives to engage in "chaste conversation coupled with fear") that I created the respect cards.

My cards are designed to instruct and assist the wives in learning the language (of "chaste conversation coupled with fear") and to provide a way for her to begin "speaking" it without saying a word.

I have come to love you and I pray for you. I know it is hard (counterintuitive, really). It may be the most difficult thing you ever are called to do. But, I beg you. Hang in there - it is SO worth it.

~ ~ ~


Beth Zimmerman said...

I know you are so right. I'm not sure why this takes so very long for us to learn. And frequently we don't even realize that we are harming his spirit! My husband actually came straight out and told me (years ago) that I wasn't supportive or encouraging of his efforts and dreams. I've made it a conscientious goal since then to speak positive words and practice encouragement. Some days, especially in the beginning, I was gritting my teeth but it got easier with practice. And he has noticed. He recently shared with a friend, and I overheard, that I was very good at expressing a thankful spirit! Whew!

Shell said...

We can only control our own actions. So, we can only work on ourselves and pray for our husbands.

sarah said...

this was a very important read for me. tough times make us unappreciative of the good others offer. it does take practice.

thanks for visiting. her shoes are still white. hip hip horray! she can be the wild child but, she is also a very sweet and sincere little girl.

Scott said...

I just came across your blog for the first time yesterday through a comment you left on "Happily Married After."

Thanks for posting this (brave woman!). Sometimes the principles of the Kingdom don't necessarily make sense and certainly aren't always easy to do, but I do believe that when we do as God has directed, we'll reap eternal rewards (and often earthly one's as well). His way works best!

Mrs4444 said...

I prefer to just worry about my own part in the relationship; the rest just naturally falls in line when you take care of your own end of the bargain :)

Like I say to my students, "Isn't taking care of you a big enough job?!"

Emily said...

You are so right, as usual. My husband is AWFUL to the point of being humorous, at grocery shopping. But the more I criticize or get mad, the less likely he is to go. And if that's my biggest problem with him many women would consider me lucky!

Hilary said...

I do agree that it's much more important to see that you're doing your part, but if something's REALLY wrong... I wouldn't just pray about it. I think you have to vocalize it.

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Can I get an Amen?