Ephesians 5:33b: And the wife should respect her husband.
Respect is his primary need, his deepest desire.

I Put My Followers First

Saturday, February 27, 2010

My New Business: Your Husband's Deepest Desire

Life has been a bit discumbobulated since "Pink Slip Friday" on February 12th when I received notice that my last day of work would be April 19th.

I basically went into shock and awe for the first week. My blood pressure readings were off the chart and I was an emotional wreck.

Then I got a grip.

I could not help but notice that being laid off was going to grant me the one thing I had been praying for.  Time.  I had prayed for time to write my manuscript and for time to tackle a project I'd been toying with for three years.  I began to get excited about the prospects.  Setting aside the concern about how to support us on unemployment when we were barely making ends meet on my paycheck will be fodder for another post.  Suffice it to say that we are anchored in the promises of tithing as found in Malachi.

So - what is the BIG project I've been toying with in my mind for three years?

It is to support the teaching that men (husbands) have one driving desire.   It is their deepest desire. And when that desire is met, men are happy.   My husband has one desire, that when met, will make him happy.  Happy.  Satisfied.  Fulfilled.  

So, as a wife, if I know what that desire is and I am capable of fulfilling that desire, would I not choose to do so?

Wouldn't you?  Couldn't you?

You won't commit to do it until you know what it is.  Right?

His deepest desire?

NO - it is NOT sexual.

Man's Deepest Desire is for Respect.  He needs to be respected to feel happy.

Woman's deepest desire is for love.  She needs to be loved to feel happy.

Go ahead and mull that over for a few minutes.  Don't miss the opportunity to consider the teaching in Ephesians 5:33.

My mother and I have been discussing the topic of man's desire for respect for about three years.  We have not exhausted our conversation on the topic but it was high time to do something with what we've learned.

My mother talked to some men about the "Love and Respect Marriage Conference" they had attended with their wives.  Among the many things that impressed her was the problem that women have communicating with men - in their language - in the man's language - in the language of respect.

"Unfortunately . . . you won't find any greeting cards that wives send to their husbands, saying, “Baby, I really respect you.”

Why not? Because they don't sell either! When women buy greeting cards for their husbands, they want to express love for them; they don't even think about respect. Sadly, the deepest yearning of husbands goes unmet because wives (and the card publishers) are locked into relaying sentiments of love."  (Emerson Eggerich, author of "Love and Respect")

After conducting an extensive search and having proven Emerson Eggerich's point, my mother encouraged me to create a line of "respect cards". I agreed that I was the perfect candidate for the project. Having three failed marriages behind me I had only recently discovered the secret to marital bliss, found in Ephesians 5:33, wherein wives are commanded to respect their husbands. The benefit of learning the language of respect is demonstrated by the increasing magnificence of the man I married.

Along the way I have discovered a growing number of women equally determined to harness the power of respecting their husbands. If you are one of these daring women, this store is for you.

Per my mother's request, follow this link to view the cards:

Your Husband's Deepest Desire


Bernadine said...

It is very interesting that we each have different needs and yet what we try to do is give to our partner what we ourselves need instead. Wonderful thoughts Sharon & thank you

Timberwolf123 said...

Hi Sharon, I don't actually agree...being a man. I think respect is important but I find love much more important....maybe I'm just an oddball =D



Sharon Cohen said...

Bill - I do not disagree because:

Respect is love,
in plain clothes.

When I (as a woman) think of love I get all poetic, mushy, flowery, soft, warm and fuzzy. Love is romance and fantasy, white gowns and roses, etc., etc.

My experience has shown that men don't generally add all the fluff - they like their love served in plain clothes - poetically speaking, of course.

Pat said...

I think Timberwolf and Sharon have each demonstrated RESPECT in their respective responses (no pun intended). Kudos to you both!

lena said...

And I kinda thought men desire for FOOD. Guess I am yet too young to understand men :D

But i really love your views :)

Sharon Cohen said...

I am really getting a good chuckle from your comment Lena. Thank you!

But, when I think about it - you ARE correct. Though food is not the only way to man's heart. Respecting, acknowleding and accomodating his taste in food will touch him. For instance, my husband LOVES brussel sprouts with pearl onions. I cannot stand the things. But, I will prepare and present them with a flourish in their own special-side-dish with his meal and he will make all those sounds of a-man-who-is-pleased as he devours them.

Lena, I think your comment is great fodder for consideration. I'm thinking that if we wives can practice respecting our husbands in simple ways, like food, then eventually we will be able to respect him in many things.

Thanks again!

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Can I get an Amen?